I know the basics of which we all deserve shelter, food, love ....hope. I have given up hope throughout my life. I am not always the confident can do anything girl. I have had very dark times where I debated on whether or not to give in to that darkness. But Im too stubborn to let anything beat me!
I struggle everyday! I may not show it, but I do. I am my own worst enemy at times. I purposely push things that could potentially be great for me because they can also potentially devastate me. At times I have low self esteem due to years of abuse, but walk with my head up, smile on my face and eye contact to everyone I pass. Strangers will never know by looking at me that I have a weak side.
I am perceived to be a bitch sometimes, I don't mind! Bitch is a power word to me!
In reality I am such a giving person. I care for others before myself. I would help anyone in need even if it means going without. Im a survivor and some aren't so I don't mind going without because I will figure out how to get it when I need it!
I have decided though that I don't want to just survive! I want to live! I have never been on a plane or even a real vacation! WTF! I have been a mom since I was 18. That's been my life! Surviving things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy (most days I wouldn't wish it, I am human). But I deserve to LIVE!
So this is where I am at....what do I deserve?? I DESERVE TO LIVE!
I decided to start by living pain free. to expand my life in an upright walking position. I am going to take that vacation this year with my longtime friend. I am going to follow my passion...wherever it may go. I am not just going to survive...I WILL LIVE!!! Not like I am dying but as I have just awaken!
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